It is loud in my head. Always.
From the minute I wake up in the morning to the minute I drift off to sleep at night, my mind is like a noisy city made up of hundreds of individuals sounds all coming together to create the song that is my life.
For those who have composed, organized thoughts, I’m sorry that I sound insane. But for those who have been both blessed and plagued with a creative mind that is forever attempting to operate on the unforgiving time clock of life, perhaps you can relate all too well.
Some days, the real time consequences of having a brain that works a million miles per hour and a body that is limited in its human abilities is draining. If only I could do things at the rate in which my mind thinks them up. If only I could gently hush the nagging of my thoughts in a way that would still allow my ideas to stream in so I could manage them and not neglect them.
The hidden gift in a burden is that after it has troubled you more times than you feel you can bear, you eventually get to a point where you ask why it has come. What has it come to teach you?
And here is what I have found:
We were not created with gifts with the expectations that we would give up those gifts in the pursuit of different ones.
A creator does not create something only to be upset that it is not something else.
A seamstress does not create a blouse and then rip it apart because it is not a dress.
A musician would not create a song and then be disappointed that it wasn’t a movie.
An artist would not paint a picture and then wait for it to turn into a sculpture.
And so, consider that God has not created you in the hopes that you would be someone different than who you are.
He intends to use you in a way that fulfills the purpose He has made you for. The creation does not tell the Creator what is was meant for, but rather the Creator gives life to the creation in such a way that its characteristics will lead the way toward its purpose.
Some gifts are easily recognizable. Others appear to be a burden or even a flaw until we look deeply into the possibilities of their purpose.
The loudness in my head isn’t meant to be silenced…it is meant to be channeled. I am not meant to have less ideas…I am meant to give life to my ideas. I don’t need to learn detachment from my thoughts, but rather discernment from what is sent from God and what is not. The persistent calling in my mind isn’t a preview of coming insanity, it is a call to action from the God I serve.
The loudness in our heads is not new news to our Creator. He is simply waiting to see what we will do with it.
So…what has been haunting you that you’ve perceived as a ghost when in actuality it is an angel?
What have you been seeing as your downfall that may truly be the thing meant to raise you up?